Grace Upon Grace: The Move

What a whirlwind! It seemed like June was a relatively slow month and after the first week of July the weeks began to pass before I could blink. I worked two weeks at a local camp called Camp Invention and by the end of the Thursday (the last day), our precious friends Meg and Drew were already at our apartment ready with food and energy to help us pack our apartment (furniture only, this round). I was exhausted. Completely spent and I wasn't really doing any of the heavy lifting.

Thankfully, Chase had already picked up my Uncle Mac's truck in Floyd and we had traded out my car for my parents' Toyota Tacoma. So, we were ready with two trucks. The entire day, it seemed to rain on and off. At times it was pouring and then where there had once been clouds followed a nice blue sky.

Meg was with me as my home was taken apart. I laughed repeatedly at how badly and chaotic everything looked, but really it was hard to process it all as the only place Chase and I had ever called home together was slowly dismantled. Thank God for good friends and for the grace that he provides when we fail to remember to trust him!

A few laughs and hugs later, Chase drove Mac's truck away and I followed in my parents Tacoma. The entire time driving, my head and heart were racing with questions. "What does this feel like to know that I won't have a home until Kenya (and even after arrival that could take months)?" "What do the next two months hold?" "God, please help me trust you." A few minutes later, I prayed and thanked God for our friends Meg and Drew who had seen us off from Radford, our bellies and trucks about as full as they could be. Ten or so minutes later, my phone rings and it was our friend (and pastor of Forest Hills), Bradley. He called to say that he and Tim Coble would be waiting and ready to help us unload our trucks in Martinsville. When I hung up the phone, I thought about the fact that Meg and Drew didn't know Bradley or Tim. And yet, we were seen off by the Hubbards on our journey and would be welcomed by Tim and Bradley when we arrived home. God was providing people on one end of the journey just as he would provide them on the other side.

Chase and I driving the trucks from our previous destination to our new one seemed to represent the in between, the traveling, the journey itself as we walk hand in hand following this call. I know that God will be faithful. He always is. Many people on this side and season will not know the others on the next adventure and season, but God will always provide us with what and who we need. The glimpses of God's goodness and mercy are everywhere. God has shown us, once again, his grace upon grace.

"But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness." Psalm 85:15

Earlier summer picture with Meg & Drew

We Have It In Us

As Chase and I journey toward what the Lord has for us in Kenya, I sit and think about how our stories will meet and come together with our Kenyan friends. As we live and work with our brothers and sisters in Kimana, Jesus will be among the faces we meet and serve. God's presence and very life will flow in and through the community as we work to meet the needs of the people we love. It is only by God's grace that we are able to serve in this way. When ever I get discouraged by the amount of need, I rest in this: God just asks us to trust him. That's all. Day by day. And although that is risky and can be scary, we have no doubt that he will be there with us. As we use our various gifts to attend to the emotional, spiritual, and physical needs of these people, he alone will give us the strength and ability to be Christ to each other. I think Frederick Buechner puts it well in the piece below from his book Secrets In The Dark:

Because of this story of Jesus, each of our own stories is in countless ways different from what it would have been otherwise, and that is why in speaking about him we must speak also about ourselves and about ourselves with him and without him too because that, of course, is the other story we have in us to remember and tell. Our own story.Yet they meet as well as diverge, our stories and his, and even when they diverge, it is his they diverge from, so that by his absence as well as by his presence in our lives we know who he is and who we are and who we are not. 

We have it in us to be Christs to each other and maybe in some unimaginable way to God too--that's what we have to tell finally. We have it in us to work miracles of love and healing as well as to have them worked upon us. We have it in us to bless with him and forgive with him and heal with him and once in a while maybe even to grieve with some measure of his grief at another's pain and to rejoice with some measure of his rejoicing at another's joy almost as if it were our own. And who knows but that in the end, by God's mercy, the two stories will converge for good and all, and though we would never have had the courage or the faith or the wit to die for him any more than we have ever managed to live for him very well either, his story will come true in us at last. And in the meantime, this side of Paradise, it is our business (not, like so many, peddlers of God's word, but as men and women of sincerity) to speak with our hearts (which is what sincerity means) and to bear witness to, and live out of, and live toward, and live by the true word of his holy story as it seeks to stammer itself forth through the holy stories of us all.

Dawn To Dusk

When I’m completely honest with myself, I’m paralyzed at the thought of writing a blog post. What do I have to say that will encourage and uplift others? What will give others an accurate glimpse into the life of the Arndts? How can I glorify God through my writing? Whoa. That’s so much pressure! I have always loved the idea of writing, but I have rarely felt that my writing accurately expressed my thoughts...or at least in a way I wish it could. That brings me to the term and subject of surrender. Surrender is defined as “to give up or hand over” and I’ll begin with saying that writing this blog is a very, painfully small version of surrendering. I’m trusting God that maybe someone needs to read this post and that ultimately it will bring some glory to Him and some encouragement to someone else.

As many of you know, I’m officially finished with my master’s degree! I graduated on May 9^th with an M.S. in Counseling and Human Development. In a western sense, my hope was to use it in a school counseling setting, but as I’ve predicted and felt called to for years now, God had it planned that I was going to use this degree in a nontraditional sense at least for the time being. That also terrifies me! Thankfully, I’m encouraged, resting in the fact that the Maker of Heaven and Earth wastes nothing and goes behind and before me.  So we shall see! Now that I have a bit more time, I hope to contribute more to our blog!

As I’ve looked back and reflected with God lately, I stand in awe of the grace and love that He has shown us in the Radford and Blacksburg communities. Upon moving to Radford, we got involved with a small group consisting of newly married couples, and just as God and his incredible timing would have it, all of our new friends were all here for the same two-year season. Now, he has called the majority of our group to other things—graduate school, a residency, and teaching overseas just to name a few routes we’re all taking. I feel honored to have walked with these couples and to have been a small part of their stories. I will always treasure these years and look back on this time of life as incredibly special. Coupled with that, we made great friends with our neighbors (and fellow students in my grad program), and I have had a fabulous core group of friends that walked the journey of graduate school with me. I feel thankful.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about seasons and our upcoming transition and how it is similar to the way that dawn changes to dusk. The transition comes slowly, but beautifully. For me, singing and music has always been a central piece to the way I worship. There’s something about singing a hymn that’s been sung for hundreds of years or singing in a large group of voices that moves me, many times, to tears. We’re all singing to the One who wants to know us and who loves us fiercely at our best and also just as fiercely at our very worst.

As graduate school came to an end, and as I finished my final class, I remember a giant wave of fear suddenly struck when I walked away from my final course. I felt like life had come to a screeching halt and I stood there, tears welling up, thinking, “Oh my gosh. Now that I’ve finished, there are so many unknowns ahead.” I was immediately, but briefly, panicked by the unknowns concerning my life for the next three years. It comforts me to know that He is above all, through all, and in all and He already knows that the pressures and stresses of the world will be too much for me to face alone. That’s when I remember, “Cast all your anxiety, your worries, your fears, your insecurities on me.” That’s really not said as a suggestion. It is clear that we need him and will always need him to pull us close and to take us back into his arms.

So. This term: surrender. I’m not very good at it. Really, at all. I guess most people aren’t. PRAISE GOD that I don’t have to carry the weight of this world alone! God longs to take care of me and show me the goodness that is found in him and in the people that are around me. I praise God for the faces of joy and light that encourage me to leap forward into his arms and urge me to follow when God nudges at my many times untrusting, and often unwilling, heart.  Often I think, “God can us ME?” and then I remember how often I’ve heard, “He doesn’t call those who are able, he enables those he calls!” How true. I’m thankful for this grace. I look forward to this thing called surrendering in many ways, but I also know that it’s going to be scary and I ask for your prayers as God teaches me and draws me closer.  “Tomorrow’s freedom is today’s surrender,” says the All Sons and Daughters song. How truer could a statement be? “Now to Him to is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us to Him be glory in the church and Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” (Ephesians 3:21)

God has been so good to us! Just as we have prayed and asked for prayers and God’s provision, he is making a way. We have 75% of our continual giving raised (monthly, yearly givers) and 44% of our outgoing, one-time costs raised! Please continue to pray as details come together for our transition. We’re moving out the end of July and have trainings in June, August, and September. We hope to visit our families during August. Pray that we will learn and retain helpful information that can be used to help others with sustainable development and overall mental and physical wellness! Most importantly, please pray that we will be the hands and feet of Jesus to those we meet. Thank you for journeying with us!

Clear As Mud

Once upon a time, there was a wise old owl who everyone in the forest respected for always knowing what needed to be done and doing it.  One day an indecisive field mouse, torn between two choices, decided he would travel to see the wise old owl to learn his secret to clarity.  Upon arriving, the field mouse approached the owl and asked, “Wise old owl, how do you always know what is the right thing to do?  How do you have such clarity?”  “Clarity?!” scoffed the owl, “I have never known such a thing in my life, rather I have only done what I felt needed to be done and hoped what I did was right.  The only clarity one ever has is hindsight, if he is lucky enough to have that.”  It was upon these words that the owl swiftly gobbled up the field mouse.  “I see”, were the last words uttered by the mouse as the darkness of the owl consumed him.

Moral of the story:  Don’t seek advice from a hungry animal above you on the food chain or let a scientist write your children’s story.

Aesop I am not, may be the understatement of the century.  I probably won’t be writing or illustrating any children’s books, but I feel this illustrates a point that I have had consistent struggles with over the years: clarity, trust, and faith.  In the book Ruthless Trust, Brennan Manning tells the story of Kavanaugh and Mother Teresa.  Kavanaugh one morning asks Mother Teresa to pray that he would have clarity.  At this Mother Teresa declined saying, “Clarity is the last thing you are clinging to and must let go of.”  When Kavanaugh asked how she always seemed to have such clarity she laughed and replied, “I have never had clarity; what I have always had is trust.  So I will pray that you trust God.”

Clarity. It seems as Christians we are always praying for it.  Lord, help me decide between these choices; make clear your path for me; show me what to do.  However, rarely do we stop to think that what we so desperately seek is quite contrary to what God requires of us: faith, trust. 

When we are certain of something, we immediately stop relying on anything else, and often make a fool of ourselves.  If I was certain that my flashlight works and the batteries are good, why would I carry a backup, or buy a lot of stock in candles?   So often in my faith when I become certain of the things God has for me in my life (the things I believe He has made clear), I immediately stop relying on Christ to fulfill it and began to create a plan to do it myself.  1 Corinthians 8:2 “If any man thinks that he knows something, he does not yet know as he should”.  Basically, if you think you know something, you’ve already missed the point.  So, in not relying on God and going ahead with my own plans, I neglect to wait on His timing and to fully see the fruition of His hand, embarking on a quest that was never truly given (at least not to the extent that I have made it to be).  So at this point you may ask what does all this have to do with Kenya?

In this season of preparation as I reflect on the mission Christ has placed in my heart years ago, I am reminded of all the times I have jumped the gun before.  Many times I have tried to make His mission my own instead of allowing Him to bring it to pass.  Looking back on it all, I am amazed at how different my mission and life would be if I would have continued with my headstrong ways and succeeded.  First and foremost, I would not be getting to undertake this journey with the love of my life that I could not do it without.  The building permits may not exist and we would not get to partner alongside of the Strangs who have taught us so much about the place we love and what it means to serve.   Nor, would I have learned, experienced, and grown with all the people I have grown to love over the last few years.  All of this has happened in His timing.

 I reflect on all of this even now as we prepare to go trying not to become rigid on all the details and struggling with issues of trust and faith.  Now that moving to Kenya is a reality, it is easy to become focused on making a plan and getting all the details “clear and in place.”  Because that’s what it is all about right, we Americans love our planners!  But are we trusting God with these things?  I struggle with this thought: Is it trusting God to account for all of our needs, total up a dollar amount and wait until he provides that exact amount to know we are fully cared for, or is that only a sort of half trust?  True, we are relying on Him to provide funds, but are we trusting Him fully enough to step out if they are not all there when it comes time to leave?  Is going without all our ducks in a row and letting God work in mysterious ways the way it is supposed to be?  Or sorely irresponsible?  Does my planning make me miss out on all the open doors and opportunities God has for me that far surpass my ideas and plans?  All these are questions that I continually wave between.  I often fear that we make our lists and plans, not leaving room for God to BE.  We are completely blind to the I AM.

So how do we operate without planning and fully trust?  How do we remain open to the fact that the area we plan on living may not be the best place for us to facilitate relationships, or that the ministry we think is best may not be needed or effective in their cultural context?  I don’t know.  And I think if I did I would have to reevaluate because I probably missed something.  So I pray, I hope, I trust, I think, I plan, and I learn I am wrong, so I bow down and pray some more.  I am not sure there is a solution other that that, and I think that’s what faith is for me.

Fundraising Update

Hey there, friends!

Many of you received our update in February that covered where we are on our fundraising. (Side note: If you would like to get our newsletters e-mail me at audreymarndt@gmail.com or chasevarndt@gmail.com) Since then we've raised about 50% of our annual support and about 20% of our outgoing support. At the end of February, we spoke with Wytheville Presbyterian Church at their Elevate Gathering, which is a monthly contemporary worship service. Shane and Emily Sledd have been friends of our for years since our time at King. Shane and Emily both work with youth at WPC and I know they are great at what they do!

In mid March, we met with a community of believers at First Presbyterian of Pulaski. Following worship, we ate spaghetti with members after the service and shared our story! We're thankful to say that they have committed to partnering with us while we follow God's call! As we develop new and current friendships with individuals and churches, we are recognizing how thankful we are for this relational piece in this fundraising process. It's been humbling as we've seen God through others who are ready and willing to share themselves and their resources with us! 

Later in the month, Chase and I traveled to Rawlings, Virginia where some of my extended family resides. My grandma, Lucy Ann Traynham, grew up and was married at Concord Presbyterian. After her passing in 2008, she left money to the church and some of it was spent this year to buy supplies for the Stop Hunger Now Program. Chase and I worked along with my parents, Uncle Randy, Aunt Debbie, and my cousin Tori and roughly 40 other individuals at Concord to create the packages of meals to be sent internationally! It was very meaningful to be involved in the packing and I know that Grandma would have been thrilled to see 10,000 meals packed to be sent to help those in need. Mama was able to reunite with her cousins at my great aunt Cece's house and we enjoyed sharing a little bit about Kenya. After our visit with family, we drove to Williamsburg to meet up with my siblings for dinner and walk around Colonial Williamsburg. On Sunday morning, Liza took us to her church in town!

In early April, we look forward to sharing with First United Methodist Church in Martinsville, VA. FUMC is another special church from home since my great aunt Marian is an active member there and I have spent many a night with Brian and Amy Mateer, FUMC's youth directors, attending and being a part of their group in high school! One of my favorite aspects of fundraising is seeing and remembering the people that He has brought into our lives for particular seasons and those who have been present throughout. As we wait on the Lord's timing in this endeavor, we are grateful for what He is teaching us!

Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore, he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him! -Isaiah 30:18

Called

As I sit back and remember how I felt called to Kenya, the only way I can explain it is by God's overwhelming grace. I remember vividly the first time I entered McDowell County, overtaken by the beauty of the area and equally overwhelmed by the poverty around me. Many houses were abandoned, broken into, like they had been lonely, unoccupied for many years. As I snuggled into my sleeping bag and put my head on the pillow those evenings, I remember staring at the top of my bunk bed paralyzed by the poverty that I had seen. It was then that I first realized that classes and socioeconomic status even existed. I learned that the world really was hurting and quite broken (not because of the lack of material things, however). The need hit me right in the face and I knew it could not be ignored. I had no choice to leave and only to learn. The concept of what was "mine" was forever altered. I was fourteen years old on a team of fifteen or so people traveling to McDowell County, West Virginia. 33.3% of the people living in McDowell County are below the poverty level. We were only there for 7 days, but they were the 7 days that changed my life. I remember being confused almost and in awe of the joy in the hearts of the people with so much less. I remembered them hugging us and saying, "You will never know how thankful we are."

After this trip, I started the forever quest of questioning and exploring what a missional life was and how could I ever justify living my life without giving myself to help others in need. I simply couldn't. From this point on, I was fascinated by people and stories and culture. This interest led me to go on trips during my time at King to Camden, New Jersey, which was inner city poverty, much different (but similar, too) to the areas of West Virginia. As Father Doyle, a priest who works for the good of Camden put it, "I wish you could see the children of Camden, trying to grow up like so many flowers in fields of old tires and broken bottles. Oh, if I had a dream it would be that the world of little children would be soft and beautiful as our tender God first intended, before we tore his dreams with our greed and neglect." As I think about the differences that are present between those two areas within the United States, I remember that there are people everywhere (stateside and abroad) who do not have basic needs met: safety, food, shelter, water. When I began my counseling program in the fall of 2012, I had little psychology background so I found all of these ideas as fresh and interesting. In human development, I learned about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs that suggests that there are basic needs, psychological needs, and self-fulfillment needs that all need to be met and that these needs motivate our behavior. Although Msalow never used a triangle as his model, this is how it is often portrayed:

As we live and work in Kimana, we will be developing and assessing ways to systematically create sustainable resources to address those needs. With the idea of "holism" as our target, we hope to reach out and address the needs of the whole person not necessarily just one area or one need. I've come to the conclusion that there is always going to be something that diverts our attention from the need, especially in Western culture where focus is on our individual success and achievement. I, too, have had moments of wanting to excuse myself from helping others. It's HARD to help others. It's risky, complicated, and messy at times. Committing to a life like this can be draining physically, emotionally and mentally, (He never said things would be easy), but I do believe we're all called to be a part of it. I struggle with how I can do this. I do know that serving is the most valuable thing that we can spend our time doing and it's also where I've found the most meaning in my life. I've found God with and among those people. "For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me."(Matthew 25:25) I'm asking God to help me to recognize where need is and how I can practically and effectively help. Right now, I'm learning about this during my counseling internship in Pulaski County. I come face to face with intense need almost daily and as I drive home, usually with a tear down my cheek, I pray and ask God for how I can somehow begin to make the days less heavy for even one precious child or an overburdened parent.

Most of you who know me, know that I am a Frederick Buechner fan. The faithful and artful way he articulates pieces of life continues to leave me speechless. So, I'll close with an excerpt from his book Wishful Thinking: 

"Poverty"
In a sense we are all hungry and in need, but most of us don't recognize it. With plenty to eat in the deep freeze, with a roof over our heads and a car in our garage, we assume that the empty feelings inside must be just a case of the blues that can be cured by a Florida vacation, a new TV, an extra drink before supper.

The poor, on the other hand, are under no such delusion. When Jesus says, "Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28) the poor stand a better chance than most of knowing what he's talking about and knowing that he's talking to them. In desperation they may even be willing to consider the possibility of accepting his offer. This is perhaps why Jesus on several occasions called them peculiarly blessed.

1st grade classroom at Camden Forward School: Camden, New Jersey

Overwhelmingly Blessed & Overwhelmed

I pride myself on being ahead of the game:  I plan, I observe, I anticipate, I am ready for 90% of the things that are thrown my way.  I always try to be a few steps ahead of the game.  However, I have learned over time that God doesn’t play the same game I am, nor does He play by my rules; and often, much to my pleasure, He continuously surprises me by how He surpasses my needs and wants with His great goodness. 

            
Originally this was going to be a New Years post, but life got in the way.  So much for that resolution of not procrastinating…To keep you all up to date, lately we have been doing a lot of traveling to different churches and visiting with different couples sharing what God is doing in our lives and our mission in Kenya.  It has been over this month and these travels, amidst all the busyness and “campaigning”, trying to express what we feel God is doing in our lives and our hope and vision for Kenya, in trying to get others to join on our journey (something I originally thought would exhaust and overwhelm me in a negative sense); I have been overwhelmed by His presence and goodness to us. 

            
To elaborate, I, like many other westerners, am very self-sufficient.  I like to do things my self without any influence or aid from others.  Over the last year, God has been continually teaching me, how much self-sufficiency is a façade.  Not only are we called to rely on Him for everything, the whole idea of a church body, of unity, depends on Christians relying on each other in areas that they lack.  Thus with unique spiritual gifts we make up one body, the church.  This too I have found is even more so the case in missions.  As I have spoken about before, we being called as missionaries, are not in this mission in Africa alone.  We are on this journey together with those who are in prayer for us, those who have supported us, those that may come visit and work along side of us, our Kenyan brothers and sisters on the ground, and those friends and family who are our support structures and sanity back in America.  It has been on our recent travels, spending time talking with these individuals who are interested in our mission, to join us on our adventure (whether by support, prayer, or community) that we have been more encouraged than exhausted.  We have been blessed by those who are devoted to Him and serving Him in His kingdom work, and in doing so have served and encouraged us on a journey that they are now a part of too. 

            
Over our travels I have been amazed and encouraged at how God has used new relationships, old relationships, and people we do not even know to continually bless us.  We have had support and prayer come from individuals and churches that we had never heard of before.  I have also been overwhelmed at how relationships that God has placed in my life from the time I was a small boy, with childhood friends and families whom I have grown up in their homes alongside their children, have blessed us and how those families have come along side us to serve Him and join in His work to all the nations.  I am overwhelmed and blessed to think that all along God knew these relationships would not just last for a season, or a semester, but would come to fruition again, to join along side one another in one accord for His work.  So thank you, from the bottom of our hearts, we are overwhelmed and overwhelmingly blessed at the love we have been and are continually being shown in and through you.