Called

As I sit back and remember how I felt called to Kenya, the only way I can explain it is by God's overwhelming grace. I remember vividly the first time I entered McDowell County, overtaken by the beauty of the area and equally overwhelmed by the poverty around me. Many houses were abandoned, broken into, like they had been lonely, unoccupied for many years. As I snuggled into my sleeping bag and put my head on the pillow those evenings, I remember staring at the top of my bunk bed paralyzed by the poverty that I had seen. It was then that I first realized that classes and socioeconomic status even existed. I learned that the world really was hurting and quite broken (not because of the lack of material things, however). The need hit me right in the face and I knew it could not be ignored. I had no choice to leave and only to learn. The concept of what was "mine" was forever altered. I was fourteen years old on a team of fifteen or so people traveling to McDowell County, West Virginia. 33.3% of the people living in McDowell County are below the poverty level. We were only there for 7 days, but they were the 7 days that changed my life. I remember being confused almost and in awe of the joy in the hearts of the people with so much less. I remembered them hugging us and saying, "You will never know how thankful we are."

After this trip, I started the forever quest of questioning and exploring what a missional life was and how could I ever justify living my life without giving myself to help others in need. I simply couldn't. From this point on, I was fascinated by people and stories and culture. This interest led me to go on trips during my time at King to Camden, New Jersey, which was inner city poverty, much different (but similar, too) to the areas of West Virginia. As Father Doyle, a priest who works for the good of Camden put it, "I wish you could see the children of Camden, trying to grow up like so many flowers in fields of old tires and broken bottles. Oh, if I had a dream it would be that the world of little children would be soft and beautiful as our tender God first intended, before we tore his dreams with our greed and neglect." As I think about the differences that are present between those two areas within the United States, I remember that there are people everywhere (stateside and abroad) who do not have basic needs met: safety, food, shelter, water. When I began my counseling program in the fall of 2012, I had little psychology background so I found all of these ideas as fresh and interesting. In human development, I learned about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs that suggests that there are basic needs, psychological needs, and self-fulfillment needs that all need to be met and that these needs motivate our behavior. Although Msalow never used a triangle as his model, this is how it is often portrayed:

As we live and work in Kimana, we will be developing and assessing ways to systematically create sustainable resources to address those needs. With the idea of "holism" as our target, we hope to reach out and address the needs of the whole person not necessarily just one area or one need. I've come to the conclusion that there is always going to be something that diverts our attention from the need, especially in Western culture where focus is on our individual success and achievement. I, too, have had moments of wanting to excuse myself from helping others. It's HARD to help others. It's risky, complicated, and messy at times. Committing to a life like this can be draining physically, emotionally and mentally, (He never said things would be easy), but I do believe we're all called to be a part of it. I struggle with how I can do this. I do know that serving is the most valuable thing that we can spend our time doing and it's also where I've found the most meaning in my life. I've found God with and among those people. "For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me."(Matthew 25:25) I'm asking God to help me to recognize where need is and how I can practically and effectively help. Right now, I'm learning about this during my counseling internship in Pulaski County. I come face to face with intense need almost daily and as I drive home, usually with a tear down my cheek, I pray and ask God for how I can somehow begin to make the days less heavy for even one precious child or an overburdened parent.

Most of you who know me, know that I am a Frederick Buechner fan. The faithful and artful way he articulates pieces of life continues to leave me speechless. So, I'll close with an excerpt from his book Wishful Thinking: 

"Poverty"
In a sense we are all hungry and in need, but most of us don't recognize it. With plenty to eat in the deep freeze, with a roof over our heads and a car in our garage, we assume that the empty feelings inside must be just a case of the blues that can be cured by a Florida vacation, a new TV, an extra drink before supper.

The poor, on the other hand, are under no such delusion. When Jesus says, "Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28) the poor stand a better chance than most of knowing what he's talking about and knowing that he's talking to them. In desperation they may even be willing to consider the possibility of accepting his offer. This is perhaps why Jesus on several occasions called them peculiarly blessed.

1st grade classroom at Camden Forward School: Camden, New Jersey