The Toilet Paper Incident

I am sure many will laugh at my ridiculousness during and long after this post but, beneath the humor lies something I am still struggling with (at home too, but especially here in Kenya).  I also want to preface that I deeply love and cherish each of the Kenyans I mention too, and in no way mean this to put anyone down or talk badly about them.  I merely write this to highlight the cultural differences and how it has caused me to struggle with what Christ has called us to as servants. I also do not think this is a struggle I alone wrestle with, but one of many westerners in a cross cultural context of poverty and communal societies.  I will also say that despite the struggles I am about to mention, Kenyans, the Maasai especially, are some of the most gracious hosts and givers I have ever met, and I hope to be more like them in this regard someday.

I wouldn't say I am a stingy person, frugal maybe, strategic with my resources, definitely.  I also struggle with people who think they are entitled and people that take advantage of others.  However, in Kenya, as a missionary, it becomes a bit more complicated.  First of all, Africa in general has a completely different mindset for so many reasons I do not know, cannot fully explain, and do not have room to list.  If you have been to a third world communal empoverished society, you are likely to have experienced it and understand what I am talking about.  For a good book on the matter, African Friends and Money Matters is excellent in highlighting the African and Western thoughts on matters of ownership and money and explaining the mindset behind each view.  It helps one understand why the other thinks the way they do, not that one has to agree, or that each culture does not have their weaknesses that Christ within us transforms, but only that it helps us understand the other.  

I can only explain this experience in a variety of examples that again are in no way meant negatively, but there is frustration behind some of them I am still working through in God's loving grace as He transforms me.  In Vincent Donovan's book, Christianity Resiscovered, about taking the gospel to the Maasai he writes, "A missionary is essentially a social martyr, cut off from his roots, his stock, his blood, his land, his background, his culture.  He is destined to walk forever a stranger in a strange land.  He must be stripped as naked as a hiking being can be, down to the very texture of his being... so that he can be a naked instrument of the gospel to the cultures of the world". This is the stripping that is taking place.

I first noticed this different sense of ownership on one of my prior trips when my jacket was taken and worn by a Maasai man, I think without any intent to ever be given back.  On the one month of this trip however, I have noticed this theme more readily.  A lot of these have happened when driving, and you just can't help but laugh at the context, and how they all add up.  For instance being told, "Do not pick those people up on the side of the road." However, this is only because a little further down they have their own people that are in need of being picked up (none of which is said, you just figure it out 10 miles later when your car is full and you weren't supposed to stop for anyone but you have a car full of cousins.)  Or, it is implied that you need to empty your car before leaving for safety's sake (and the fact we have a ton of stuff somewhere we need you to bring back from the market that we forgot to mention).  There seems to be a culture of things left unsaid until the last second.  

Our special chocolate bar we bought for a treat after not having sweets was eaten mysteriously. We have been asked on multiple occasions to loan money up front. Folks call us on our cellphones only to hang up when we answer so we will call them back and use our minutes instead of theirs. People go without because it is just the way it is, but when we buy that something everyone else wants to use it because they shouldn't be without.  A whole slew of things that just boggle our American mind and make us say, "This can't be right! Can it?" As I said, none of these things are bad in their own right, and I hope I would happily do any of these for anyone that was in need.  Yet, as they become constant and repetitive and build on one another with details left unsaid, it becomes more difficult to serve with a joyful spirit.

With this context I bring us to the story you have been waiting for, the toilet paper incident.  I had (and still am but God is at work) been frustrated about feeling used and taken advantage of over our time in Kenya.  It all started one morning with a knock on our door, a Maasai man that was working for us (who lived about a kilometer away) knocked on our door, said hello, came inside, looked around the room, picked up our toilet paper, rolled off two good handfuls and left.  We were a little confused, but just figured he really had to go, no big deal.  Second morning, same exact thing, maybe he ate some bad meat.  Third morning, again. This is happening.  After the forth morning I was hiding the two pieces of toilet paper we had left.  On the fifth day he asks, "Where is the toilet paper?" After leaving sad and empty handed, I felt dirty (as I am sure so did he), did I really just hide toilet paper from a Maasai I felt called to fly across the world and serve?  So I asked Audrey, "Was that wrong?  Are we being taken advantage of?  Don't we need toilet paper too?  Doesn't he have a toilet at home?  What would he do if we weren't here?"  What would Jesus have done?  Does Jesus need toilet paper?  Did Jesus poop?"  All are deeply theological questions...

Later that evening, I was reading Christianity Rediscovered and it began to talk about that if someone ask you to go the extra mile, go two.  If they ask for your shirt, give them your coat too.  Jesus is turning our whole system of ownership, possession, and entitlement upside down.  I again began to feel convicted, not only should I probably not have hid the toilet paper, I probably should have given him a roll to take home.  But, but, how does that effect every other instance that I have listed?  Does it?  Can I have my chocolate eaten, phone minutes drained, money borrowed, and be used as a taxi and shuttle all for Christ, all to show love?  Is it ultimately hurting to give in to these demands, or is that even our concern?  Do we merely act in love, and let Christ hold them accountable for their potential misuse?  Am I being taken advantage of?  Does it matter?  What about our needs?  

All are challenging questions and I do not believe there is any easy answer to any of them.  There are books that give one answer, churches that give another, common sense may tell us one thing, and then Christ goes and flips it all on its head.  I was reading in Matthew 6 today and I was again convicted.  I am adding what I heard, so you may want to read it in your own version. Do not store up toilet paper on earth where feces and flies corrupt and where it can be easily taken. Give it away freely, beyond what you are asked.  If you store it, you have to guard it. Then you are just wasting your time and resources when they could be better used elsewhere, doing something more important of eternal value, for the kingdom.  For where your treasure is, the things you put guards on to make sure they stay yours, is where your heart truly is.  These are the things that mean more to you than what should mean the most and best guess they are not eternal. Most times they can be easily flushed without a second thought.  I love to give gifts when nothing has been asked of me, but as someone continually asked for something I feel my giving spirit shriveling. Yet, this is not what Christ calls us to; he calls us to give freely beyond what has been asked.

Then Jesus hits us with one last zinger.  Do not worry.  There are better things to spend your time on.  The birds do not build store houses, plant a garden, or tuck away food and I provide food for the birds. I clothe the plants, and you are more precious to me than they, what are you worried about?  I will provide every need. It may not be in the form of triple-ply and extra cushy, but I will provide your needs. It is all Mine, why are you trying to hold on to what I have already given you?  Do you not trust I will again provide?  And what good would worrying even do? Does it make you feel better?  Add time to your day?  Make your problems go away?  God knows your needs, so let it go. Seek the kingdom and His righteousness. Let Him sort out the rest.  Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will take care of itself, each day has enough trouble of its own.

So this is us, stripped bare, cut from our roots, strangers in a strange land.  We are struggling at times, but Christ is making us new so that we can be naked instruments of the gospel to the cultures of the world.  This is only through what He accomplishes. Father, give us a spirit of humbleness and overflowing love. Eesai.