Palms open, held upward

“Never, in peace or war, commit your virtue or your happiness to the future. Happy work is best done by the man who takes his long-term plans somewhat lightly and works from moment to moment “as to the Lord”. It is only our daily bread that we are encouraged to ask for. The present is the only time in which any duty can be done or any grace received. –C.S. Lewis

Kenya and the African way of life have taught me many things, much of which I have not began to process or fully understand myself. However, Kenya has taught me to give generously, and to hold nothing with a closed fist, to hold this life and all that is in it with open hands, palms held upward. One’s palms being up shows a submission, openness and honesty. They also indicate humility and uncertainty. I believe that is exactly what God desires from us, not the closed fists with which we hold things so often. Over our time here we have had money, possessions, and plans all taken from us. We have been stripped down to nothing but each other and God, and it was enough. Teaching me that nothing in this life is truly ours: not land, not a building, not money, not a plan, nothing is ours. It has all been given from the Father of lights, so why should we flinch when it is taken away? We (and I include myself) as westerners, as a culture, have entitlement engrained into us. We are self-made, hardworking, and do not quit. It is because of such that we believe we are owed something for our efforts. Not a bad way to be. Our tenacity is admirable, however, we must get over the fact we are owed something.

I think we justify most of this through comparisons. We work hard, harder than them, therefore we deserve this and they do not. Yet, when we flip that comparison against God, we are the ones left completely undeserving. Yet, that is not a comparison that many of us are willing or able to fully make. We are not willing to admit that in comparison to our Lord, our efforts are nothing and we are deserving of nothing.

In Kenya, there is not much that is actually yours. Living in a communal society anything you have is open to be taken from someone you have a relationship with that needs it more. If you hold to anything too tightly you are viewed as selfish and unloving. This is not so in the west, and at first, and to be honest even still, this frustrated me. Not only could I not hold on to my stuff, I saw Kenyans as having no concept of saving, or future planning. Yet, lately I have begun to wonder what are future plans truly? Who can truly plan ahead, especially when the present is hurting so? It is easy to trick yourself into a comfortable future when your needs are met in the present. One has to ignore those who are suffering because to acknowledge them causes your walls to crash to the floor, makes all of your planning for naught. We as westerners can save for the future because we are individualistic. One might say we are selfish, only looking out for ourselves. That is all we are truly responsible for in this life, right? Communal societies in many countries in Africa, in Kenya, and among the Maasai would disagree. They might say we are in this together, they, as the church should, see the suffering around them and take it upon themselves to meet it. They do not hold large grants or savings, they rarely have more than to get them through the week ahead, yet they give it more willingly out of their little than we give from our surplus.

There are many differing thoughts on this. Some might say not to give because it causes dependence. Some say only give to emergencies, to sustainable causes. True, some giving creates problems, but I feel ultimately that problem is one of the recipients making, not a large responsibility of the giver. I think so often we use the possibility of people misusing money as an excuse not to give; rather than giving freely to needs and letting the Holy Spirit be at work through the gift and convicting the recipients where there is misuse. This is not to say not to be wise stewards of the money you have been entrusted with or not to be involved personally with those you give it to, for indeed it has been entrusted to us. However, at the same time we must remember it has only been entrusted to us, it is not our own, we are merely the stewards. So why do we grasp it so tightly? We would rather bury it in a hole where we may never touch it again, than sooner let a cent pass through our fingers.

This is quite the opposite in Kenya. Kenyans never have money, and never are able to save, in part because soon as anything comes in, it is spent or given away. At first I saw this as irresponsible. However, one day I went out to the bush with a friend. This man has a job, makes a reasonable salary for Kenya, and I watched him visit his mom, his dad, his uncle, aunts, and community members, and he gave his months salary away to them for groceries and transport. It was at this moment, along with an accumulation of many others that something began to change. Again, I speak as someone grasping at truth he can see, but does not yet comprehend. I am not claiming to have all the answers. Yet, I do know that as a church we are called to give all that we hold: be that time, money, efforts, plans, world-views, biases, possessions, what have you, and follow Him.

Following him is never easy, and will most certainly leave us with many questions and concerns for the future. Yet, we must stay focused on the present, doing the work He has called us to do, holding on loosely to all that we have and entrusting the rest to Him.