Wise ole Mango Tree

As I lie in my tent looking out on the setting sun and a very large mango tree, I reflect on what God has been doing in my life over the past year. I think, as Christians, and maybe even as humans, we all want to be wise old oaks (or in my Kenyan case, Mango trees). We wish to be large, substantial, noticeable, firm, steadfast, admirable, producing fruit, and giving shade. I think we view our success as Christians and humans as how well we are doing and how grandiose we have become. We see our purpose to be efficient and effective and can only be successful if we accomplish these things on a large scale.

However, I feel this is contrary to the purpose and plan of God. While we yearn to be large and to leave our mark, God only wants us to find the small part of ourselves that reflects His glory. The piece He has instilled in us from the beginning. Our mission is to reflect his grandeur not become anything in and of ourselves. I believe anything that speaks contrary to this is pride. We want to make a name for ourselves, we want to be successful, and we want to give largely and without expectation because that reflects well upon us. I think this is only natural and part of the human self and psyche, we want to like ourselves, and so we do things to enhance our image. Yet, in doing so, I believe we are obscuring the Son. If I am that large mango tree and God is the sun, the larger I become, the more of Him I block others from seeing.

I believe we all want to be old, large, wise oaks (or mango trees) when all God really wants from us is to be toothpicks. God has a special plan for each of us, and a unique design for our lives, but it requires very little, if almost nothing of who we are. All He desires is for us to reflect His glory. So as we continue to try to grow into those large oaks, He is constantly chopping (sometimes it feels like hacking) down our limbs. We are trying to grow to be something of stature yet we keep getting knocked down. Often I think we wonder, why would God do such a thing, why am I not progressing, why would God allow this to happen to me? We have a different vision than His; we desire to prosper in ourselves when all He wants is our surrender and for us to submit to His pruning. So He chops, we resist. We grow new branches (some which might be very nice and even produce fruit) but He cuts them down, so we try once more, but again it happens, sometimes over and over again until we are broken. Beautifully broken.

I feel it is in this brokenness where we truly find God, where we accept grace, where we submit to “not my will but Thine” where we can let go of our pride and our identity and grasp solely to Him. We allow the pruning, the chopping, the sanding, the shaping until we are whittled down to nothing more than a toothpick. A tiny, insignificant toothpick that is easily overlooked, small, and sometimes brittle. Yet, its function is completely tied to the Creator, to reflect the purpose of His grand design. It leaves no doubt who is at work, for its identity is tied up in Christ. So my prayer tonight for myself and for each of you is to “Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” The Lord of hosts is with us; The God of Jacob is our stronghold. Selah.” Psalms 46